Nothing makes you feel smaller than standing next to a six foot long sperm whale penis—except maybe standing next to the whale itself. That’s what I learned at the Icelandic Phallological Museum in Reykjavik. Like many successful business endeavors, the idea for the museum came from a joke. Sigurður Hjartarson, the museum’s founder, began receiving gag gifts of various penises which sparked a curiosity in him. What started as “goofing around” turned into a serious collection that eventually became what the museum is today.
“At first, it was a bit of a joke. It was very common then for teachers to have other jobs in the farming and animal industries, such as whaling. So to tease me, other teachers began to bring me penises from their second jobs—whale penises, sheep penises.” — Sigurður Hjartarson
Over two hundred penises from various species assailed me when I walked into the building. You don’t realize how grody wieners are until you look at one preserved inside a jar of formaldehyde—or maybe you do, but this sealed the deal for me. By the time you reach the human phallus donated by a volunteer upon his death, nothing is surprising anymore. It only made me wish that I had my own penis to donate.
I entered the museum for shock value, but I left having learned a lot. While there are jokes of the tongue-in-cheek variety from start to finish, comedy is not the only focus, and the museum prides itself on being tasteful. If you are familiar with Amsterdam’s sex museum, imagine the opposite of that. Although, visiting the sex museum is also a good time.
As an artist, my favorite part of the Phallological Museum were the sculptures and drawings sprinkled throughout. I mean, who doesn’t love penis art? Whether you go for the phallic decor, the culture, or the science, you are sure to at least have a laugh.
p.s. photos with the whale penis, or it didn’t happen.
Works Cited
“Experience: I Opened the World’s Largest Penis Museum.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 22 Apr. 2022, https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/apr/22/experience-i-opened-the-worlds-largest-penis-museum.
